


Valentine's Day

by NobodyOfficial



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Asexual Kevin Price, Competition, F/M, Fluff, Games, M/M, Romance, just kids messing around, valentines day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 15:59:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15777354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NobodyOfficial/pseuds/NobodyOfficial
Summary: After arguing about who's the better couple, Kevin and Arnold end up dragging their significant others into a Valentine's Day competition.





	Valentine's Day

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's ages since Valentine's Day and this is poorly written even by my standards and unedited, so I'm sorry.

"I've done something stupid."

Nabalungi rolled over and pushed the sheet off her face. It was still dark outside and she could still hear Mafala snoring softly in the other room. And Arnold was sat on her bed.

"Something stupider than crossing the village in the dark and breaking into my home?" She asked, sitting up to face Arnold. He was dressed smartly but the state of his hair said he'd woken up five minutes ago. The probability of Arnold ever waking before her was very slim; he must have a very good reason.

"Yes! Y'know when I was telling you about American Valentine's Day?" He asked.

Nabulungi nodded. “Yes. Exactly the same as Valentine’s Day here.”

“Well, I may have casually, totally casually I didn't yell at all, mentioned to Kevin that we're a better couple than him and Connor, because of all the playful bickering they do and stuff and he took it majorly seriously and now we're having some sort of V-Day competition to see who the better couple is." He took a deep breath. "Sorry."

Nabulungi smiled sleepily and reached out to pull Arnold down beside her. He was staring at her, wide-eyed with worry, waiting to hear her response.

“That sounds wonderful,” she said, much to Arnold’s relief. “What do we need to do? Beat them in a football match? Outrun a lion? We can do any of these things.”

“No,” Arnold laughed, resting his head on her arm, “It’s nothing like that. Just prove that we know each other better, and that we’re more romantic and stuff. I guess. I don’t know. I’ve never had a girlfriend before.”

“That’s ok,” Nabulungi grinned. “You keep saying I’m a great girlfriend, we can win this!”

She rolled out of bed and trotted into her father’s room; he was already at the market. From his trunk she pulled a red and black tunic. “You’re going to wear this,” she said, peering back into her own room. “It’s traditional Valentine’s Day wear.”

Arnold squinted. “That’s like a dress, right? Awesome!”

~

Connor watched nervously as Kevin drew his pen across the whiteboard, forming perfect, loopy cursive. His stomach was in knots for two reasons, the first being that Kevin was beautiful and perfect and had given him a desk tidy and a box of chocolates that morning. The second was that Kevin was cheating. Not on him; they were cheating together, at Valentine’s Day.

“Ok, ideal date?” Kevin asked as he finished writing the question down.

“Anything, as long as it’s with you,” Connor said earnestly.

“Ooh, sappy, that’s perfect!” Kevin admired his handiwork, the question sitting below several others, all the same size and font.

“Don’t you think we can win without cheating?” Connor sighed. They’d spent more than a year together in the missionary hut with little entertainment besides conversation; he liked to think they knew each other quite well.

“No, Arnold never shuts up! Nabulungi must know everything about him by now!” Connor could think of someone else who never shut up. “Anyway, we both love winning. It’s one of the things that makes us such a great couple.

"Yeah, that's fair," Connor relinquished. "You say your favourite drink is orange juice but really it's a latte. Right?"

"Whaaat? Nooo, it's definitely oj!" Kevin smirked as he reached up to print 'The Newly Weds Game' at the top of the board. He squinted up at it, then smiled at Connor, eyes soft. "Have you ever, uh, ever thought about marriage?"

Connor looked round the empty room. "Me?"

"Yes, of course you."

"Oh." The moment Connor had met Steve Blade he'd stopped thinking about marriage. He'd thought it would never be an option for him and had instead decided to dedicate his life to the Mormon church. But now, dismissed from the church and living in Uganda with a serious boyfriend and a new set of values, he allowed himself to consider it. Marriage sounded pretty good. "Only recently," he said.

The door flew open before Kevin could reply. "I am here to beat you!" Nabulungi declared. "Also, here is Arnold." She stepped aside to reveal Arnold, wearing a long, loose-fitting tunic.

"What's that?" Kevin asked.

"It's a, um, a da, uh-" He looked to Nabulungi. "What is it?"

"A dashiki."

"A dashiki!" Arnold beamed. "It's Mafala's, for Valentine's Day. He told Naba to make me wear it."

"You look good, buddy," Kevin said lightly. "And now Connor and I are going to absolutely smash your asses, come on."

They sat down on the sofas, each provided with a mini chalk board from Connor's collection. For a moment everyone was silent, looking around at each other and the whiteboard and the blank chalkboards sat on their laps.

"Uhh, I think we forgot a presenter," Connor said. All eyes turned to Chris, who had wandered into the kitchen to gather armfuls of snacks. He glanced nervously back, then started to hurry outside.

"Hey Chris!" Arnold yelled after him. "You're not doing anything, can you help us out please?"

Chris grimaced and placed his snacks down on the table. "Alright, but we have to be-"

"Quick!" Kevin beckoned him over to the whiteboard. "Read these questions out... Please."

"Ok, uh, what's your favourite-"

"You're doing it wrong," Arnold whined, getting up to stand beside the board as if he was a game show host. "Like this-" Arnold held his head up, puffed his chest out, and boomed, "Ladies and gentlemen, if you could please write down your partner's favourite book! Remember, you'll need to write both your own and your partner's preferred novel for this to work!"

"That was great!" Kevin exclaimed.

"Can I go now?" Chris was already inching back towards his snacks.

"No, wait! I need to play now." Arnold positioned Chris in front of the whiteboard. "Just stand there and try to be like me."

Connor wrote down Walt Disney: A Biography, which Kevin had read a dozen times and made Connor read too. He then wrote The Talented Mr Ripley, a book he'd been ashamed of loving as a child, before gay serial killers were cool.

"Time's up," Chris mumbled nervously. "I guess."

"Yes!" Arnold threw his chalk down on the floor. "Nabulungi's favourite book is Animal Farm!"

"That is true." Nabulungi turned her board around, which also read Blade Runner. "I like the familiar farm animals and the overtones of political revolution and classism. Arnold's favourite book is Blade Runner."

"I like sci-fi!" Arnold declared. Then he leaned forward and stage-whispered to Kevin, "And the robo-ladies, am I right?"

"I'm asexual," Kevin said flatly.

"Fair enough. Everyone knows there's only one lady I'm in to." He leaned over and kissed Nabulungi on the cheek.

"Alright, enough of you guys being cute, we can be cute too." Kevin patted Connor on the shoulder with a stoic look on his face. "My boyfriend's favourite book is The Talented Mr Ripley, because he likes bad boys." He smoothed his perfect quiff.

Connor blushed. Kevin was definitely enough of a bad boy for him. "Please don't imply that I'm attracted to villains."

"We're gay. We're all attracted to villains."

"Fair enough."

~

After that the game was over in minutes. Both couples seemed to know everything about each other, to the endless frustration of Connor and Kevin. All his life Kevin had just wanted to be the best. The best pupil. The best son. The best Mormon. Now he wasn't quite so uptight about that, but there was one thing he was desperate to be the best at: being Connor's boyfriend.

"Ok, we're done with that now," Kevin sighed. "We're equally awesome."

"Does that mean I can go?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, sure, thanks," Kevin mumbled. "We're going to the yard, come on guys." He took Connor's hand and pulled him close, whispering, "We're going to win this."

"That's hot."

"I know."

The yard was dusty and empty, a single tree protruding from a small patch of sand. Kevin plopped himself down on the floor. "Team building exercises. Do that back to back thing."

"Oh! We're amazing at that!" Nabulungi sat down and beckoned for Arnold to sit down behind her. They linked arms then Arnold leaned forward, lifting Nabulungi up like she was a backpack.

Kevin huffed. The only muscles he had were for show, and although Arnold looked like a cuddly teddy-bear Kevin had seen him lift the couch clean off the floor by himself. "Never mind, we're not doing that." He started to get up and Connor grabbed his arm to help him. "Do a trust fall instead."

"Ok!" Nabulungi spread her arms and began to tip backwards before Arnold was even behind her. Kevin winced and turned away; he hadn't meant for her to literally throw herself into it but if that's what it would take to win...

"Gotcha!"

Kevin opened his eyes to find Arnold holding Nabulungi's shoulders a centimetre off the floor. He sighed with relief, before his brain kicked the competitiveness up a gear. "We can do that too! Connor, do that!"

"I, I don't want to do that," Connor said.

"Oh." Kevin placed a gentle hand on his boyfriend's forearm. "Ok, sorry."

"It's fine." A smirk slowly spread across Connor's face. "We gotta find another way to win now!"

"Heavenly Father, I love you so much!"

~

"Puzzles!"

Arnold's heart skipped as Connor dropped the box of jigsaw puzzles onto the table. He loved jigsaw puzzles, the more pieces the better, almost as much as he loved Nabulungi. And Star Wars. And The Hobbit. And sci-fi. And comics. And donuts. And- ok, he loved a lot of things.

"We're going to solve puzzles as a team," Kevin said. "First to finish their puzzle wins."

"O-ok," Nabulungi said airily. "That sounds ve-ery fair." She glanced sideways at Arnold. He raised his eyebrows in a way that he hoped made him look like a Bond villain.

"Here." Connor slid a jigsaw across the table to the pair and Arnold's eyes widened. So did Kevin's.

"Five hundred piece Deathstar jigsaw," they breathed in unison.

"Arnold can complete it in two minutes."

"It's true!" Arnold didn't take his eyes off the box as Connor selected his own box and counted down. The second he said 'go' Arnold ripped the lid off and he and Nabulungi began to madly sort pieces. They'd done this before. They had a system. "Being a nerd is so useful!"

"You're my nerd," Nabulungi said with pride, pausing with a quarter of the jigsaw made to kiss Arnold on the cheek.

Connor and Kevin struggled to gather the corner pieces of their kitten-themed jigsaw while Arnold and Nabulungi filled theirs in row by row. This was probably the fastest they'd ever done it. This was probably some kind of record. Arnold looked over at Nabulungi, stoic with determination. She was perfect. He loved her so much.

"Wait!" Arnold held the last piece in his fist while Connor and Kevin continued to scrabble for pieces. "This is stupid." He turned to Nabulungi. Dropped the jigsaw piece in favour of taking her face in his hands. "I don't need some game to tell me that I love you, or that we're a great couple. I already know that."

"Well we do!" Kevin declared, spinning round and high-fiving Connor. "We won!"

"We won!" Connor threw his arms around Kevin, who picked him up and spun him round.

"Hell yeah!"

"Best couple!"

"Alright." Arnold rolled his eyes and placed a hand on Nabulungi's shoulder. "Naba and I are going to head into the village for some celebrations, you guys wanna come?"

"Nah, we're going to watch old Disney films, apparently," Connor smiled.

"Cool, see you later," Arnold called.

Nabulungi paused by the door and turned back. "You guys are a really great couple, by the way."

"Yeah," Kevin slung an arm around Connor, "We are."

~

Chris set the cider down on the table then sat down beside James. "I think we're the only sophisticated couple in this missionary hut," he said with a smile.

"Sweetie, I've always thought that." James leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Happy Valentine's Day."

**Author's Note:**

> You can come yell at me on tumblr @ everyonewholovesmehasdied 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
